If you read my blog post yesterday, you’ll know that I’m trying to find my voice again and stop limiting myself in terms of what I say, when I say and how I say it. I want Not Quite There Yet to get back to its roots: a blog about a girl who’s working on herself out loud, and sharing what she learns as she learns it, so that others can know that they’re not alone.

On that note, I’m using day 3 of my 10-day writing challenge as an opportunity to reintroduce myself and give you a little more insight into who I am and what I’m about.

Here are 8 things you don’t know about me:

  1. I am an only child. Most of the time, I really like this fact about myself. Growing up, I never had to share and I got all the attention. I always had my own room and all the presents under the Christmas tree were mine and mine alone. As an adult, I cherish the bond my mom and I have, and often think about how jealous I’d be if she shared that with someone else. Back off, hypothetical sister, she’s MY mom. At the same time, a small part of me wishes I had a sibling just so I could know what it’s like to have someone who – love them or hate them – is connected to you for eternity and shares precious memories of your childhood and your home life that no one else is privy to.
  2. I am addicted to cucumbers. I have them with breakfast. I have them with lunch. I have them with dinner. They’re also a great snack (hint: add olive oil, salt, pepper and if you’re feeling indulgent, feta). I add slices to my cream cheese bagels at Tim Horton’s. I enjoy cucumber flavoured mojitos and I also listen to Macka B’s cucumber video way more than I should.
  3. I set a goal for myself in 2017 to read 24 books before the year’s end. Currently I’m at 14.5 and there’s a small part of me that thinks I won’t reach my goal. When I tell people that I’m behind schedule, they say, “Who cares, it’s an arbitrary goal, the important thing is that you’re reading!” And in theory, I get it; setting a reading goal and stressing out about whether or not I make it is not an enjoyable way to read by any means, but… like… I set it… it’s there… and now I have to achieve it or else I’ll feel guilty forever and ever and ever. It’s like having a to-do list with boxes you’ll NEVER be able to check off. Imagine!
  4. I have a job that allows me to work from home up to three days a week. This flexibility has done wonders for my mental health. I had really bad anxiety a few years ago and it would get triggered every time I’d subway to and from work. I’d also get stressed out knowing that I had non-work stuff to do and only a few hours in the evenings, plus the weekends, to get it all done. Now that I’m home more often, I can get things done through the day, I can go to an appointment during lunch, I can clean my room while on a call, I can sign for my Amazon packages. It’s truly a wonderful thing and if your employer offers flex work similar to this – do it, my friend, DO IT.
  5. My roommate and I PVR every episode of Jeopardy. We’ll binge watch five at a time and force ourselves to guess an answer for each clue, even if we have no idea. It’s pretty comical. We also go through phases where we get really addicted to Sporcle and sit for hours on end trying to name every country in the world. The best I’ve done so far is somewhere in the 160-170 range. No biggie.
  6. I’ve never smoked a cigarette. When I was 8 years old, my dad put out his smoke in a can of Coca-Cola. A few minutes later, desperate for something to drink, I reached for the can and took a huge sip of backwash and cigarette ash. It was the nastiest thing I had ever tasted. I spit it out immediately and began crying inconsolably. I still remember the taste to this day, and that memory alone is reason enough for me to never even consider trying it. With that said, whenever I get stressed out I joke that “I wish I smoked,” so I could walk outside and stand with one leg up against a wall and look cool and aloof while trying to come up with a resolution to whatever my problem may be. Too bad, so sad.
  7. I’m 27 years old and I still don’t know what I want to be when I grow up. I’m so jealous of people who knew from a young age that they wanted to be a doctor or a singer or a teacher. My dreams have always changed – with one exception. I always imagined myself writing a book. I didn’t necessarily think of it as a career, but more of a hobby. I thoroughly enjoy reading and writing and know deep down in my soul that there’s something in that field for me. But I don’t like to admit that, because I know that the only thing standing between me and my dream is myself. That’s a lot of pressure to add on top of my already existent fear of failure.
  8. I’m scared of failure. I’m scared of saying “I want to be an author” and never accomplishing it and having to live the rest of my life knowing that I didn’t do what I wanted to do. It’s like that quote from Brian Tracy, “It is not failure itself that holds you back; it is the fear of failure that paralyzes you.” As I delve deeper into this world of self-help and personal development, I’m learning that living fearfully is no way to live. That’s why this 10-day writing challenge is so important to me. I love to write, I want to write, but I was scared to write. The only way for me to get past that fear and progress towards a life greater than I could have ever imagined is to just suck it up and, as I quoted in yesterday’s post, SHOW UP BEFORE I’M READY.

One step closer to there,
Newsha

Written by Newsha

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