Recently I’ve found that anytime I get stressed, upset, overwhelmed or experience writer’s block, I do one of two things: wash dishes or take a shower.
I think it’s because I’m unplugged but busy at the same time. I’m doing something, but it’s a remedial task that requires no brainpower. Therefore I get to keep my body occupied (and far away from my phone), while allowing my mind to wander.
I guess the same logic applies to working out, but I’m not going to pretend I work out often enough to make it a habit.
Anyway, I was in the shower today and my thoughts were coming at me full speed. I was thinking about my friends, about work, about the book I’m reading, about my new condo, about the places I’ve traveled, about my purpose and my goals for the future.
If you haven’t guessed by now, I take long showers. Always have, always will.
I had all these profound thoughts (including one not-so-profound thought about why my mom has 7 bottles of conditioner but only 1 bottle of shampoo), and suddenly felt the urge to get out of the tub and start writing down all my ideas before I forgot them.
So here I am now… sitting on the couch, probably catching a cold because my hair’s still wet, putting my shower thoughts into words.
(As I typed out that last sentence I could hear my roommate’s voice in my head; “YOU CAN’T CATCH A COLD WITH WET HAIR. THAT’S A MYTH.” Shut up, Amy, it’s for dramatic effect.)
Anyway, back to the story, here’s what I was thinking about in the shower:
If you want to GET support, you’ve got to GIVE support.
I debated not writing this because it makes people uncomfortable. But, hell, uncomfortable is my middle name. No it’s not. I don’t have a middle name. That’s beside the point.
Let me start again: If you want to get support, you’ve got to give support. I say this as it relates to any type of creative work, business venture or entrepreneurial journey. Actually, I say this as it relates to anything anyone will ever do that requires vulnerability and the slightest glimmer of hope.
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve scrolled past a thoughtful Facebook post or an invitation to like someone’s new business page and thought to myself, “Nah, that’s not my speed” and kept on scrolling. Even worse, there’d be times where I’d read someone’s blog post or watch a YouTube video, THOROUGHLY ENJOY IT, and then close it and move on.
Uh, what, WHY?
Do you know how scary it is to create something from scratch? To be vulnerable and share your thoughts with even one person other than yourself? To have a vision so strong and so real that you’d risk your own money and your own reputation just to get that product, project or idea out there in the universe?
It’s scary AF.
And the only thing that chips away at the scariness is the response you receive. That like, that share, that retweet, that comment, that direct message from someone you know or – better yet – someone you don’t know, saying, “Hey, I like what you’re doing. Keep it up.”
Even if you don’t like what that they’re doing, (maybe you hate cats and your friend’s new Instagram account about their cat Fluffy is the last thing you want spamming your feed), you can at least respect the hustle, can’t you?
We’re all Not Quite There Yet, but what’s important is the fact that there’s even a “There” to begin with. We’re all trying something, testing the waters and taking little steps towards our big goals. The best way that I can think to keep the momentum going is to show each other some friggin’ support.
The more content I create, the more I realize that you get back what you put out.
Where I used to focus inward and ask myself, “Why didn’t anyone comment on my post,” I am now going to channel my energy outward and reframe those questions; “Whose article can I read today? Whose project needs some love? Whose business is impressing me so much that it makes me want to give a rating or write a review?”
Think about it for a second: Why is it so easy for us to support strangers, follow accounts of random IG girls we don’t know, like all of their pictures and leave comments like “Cute shoes” or “Hair goals,” and yet it’s so damn hard to do the exact same thing for the people we actually know? The people we’ve met in real life! The people whose struggle we were there to witness firsthand!
What does this say about us?
I don’t know why we do this, but I do know that it’s something we can and should change. There’s no max capacity for love and support. So I challenge you, dear friends, to show someone – ANYONE – a little support each and every day.
With that said, if you have a business or a blog or an idea or a project or anything in the world that you’ve created and want me to look at, I invite you to comment below or send me an email or message me privately and I will be more than happy to check it out.
What goes around comes around, right?
One step closer to There,
(And to plug myself… follow Not Quite There Yet on Instagram, would ya?)